The Lies We Believe: I Must Take Control

What we believe to be true about ourselves and the world around us shapes our future. This month, I'm exploring the lies we believe: about ourselves; about others; about the world - and how these lies impact us and our relationships.

 My grass is dead.

The irrigation system was leaking and so I turned it off to see what was going on – which would have been fine, except that I forgot about it and then I was gone most of March. And so now, the grass is dead. Not that it was looking all that great before any of this happened. But I’ll tell you, it sure isn’t looking good now. I’ve decided gardening and yard work really aren’t ‘my thing.’

I’m moving and I don’t know where or when exactly.

The stress of starting a business has sparked my habit of late-night snacking. This has led to a weight gain of about 5 (10?) pounds - not enough to sink me, but enough that my shorts don’t fit quite right. I haven’t had to worry about my weight for a long time, and I’m disappointed in myself – I don’t want to fall into old patterns of self-destruction. Because as it turns out, emotional eating is ‘my thing.’

There is a new season of joy in my life – it’s called parenting the teenage years.  My daily environment is filled with emotion and a lot of hiding in rooms. To my offspring, I’ve suddenly become the most annoying person on the planet. My value lying mostly in the ability to keep a fully-stocked fridge. It’s awesome – parenting truly is its own reward…#blessed

And let’s not talk about my love life… Not that a woman who has put on a few with a dead yard and a house full of greasy teenagers isn’t a catch or anything…

The point is, I don’t really have things figured out right now – and that’s ok.

Look at me, the goddess of chill.

But it hasn’t always been this way.  In the past, I was a slave to having it all worked out and ‘under control.’ It made me feel safe. When things seemed out of whack, I would pull out all the stops to try and gain some semblance of power over situations, circumstances, or others.

I used the ‘bad’ things – manipulation, anger, bullying.

And I would even use the ‘good things’ – religion, serving, helping.

But they were all tied to the same anchor – grasping at any means necessary to gain control so that I could feel safe – consequences be damned.

I was rooted in fear.

The lie that we must take control or have things under control keeps us stuck, paralyzed from taking the steps necessary for change and growth to occur in our lives.

Because the truth is, you don’t have to have it all worked out – and you don’t have to take control to be safe in your life. Safety comes from within.

We have very little control over our lives anyway. We plan, we prepare we try and predict – all noble efforts. But we can’t control others and most circumstances are beyond our control.

The only thing you have any control over at all is you. You must let go of the rest. Otherwise you will destroy the very thing you’re trying so desperately to hang on to.

Chaos comes before the breakthrough.

When you are on the verge of a shift or transformation in your life - if God is trying to move you somewhere - during the time it takes you to get from point A to point B, things will seem chaotic.

When we try to control the chaos, we essentially hinder the workings of the universe – and we get in our own way.

I encourage you, friends to resist the lie that you must seize control. Your real power comes in letting go.

Let’s make it great.