I started writing on my blog, Unchained, in 2015, and though I’m now writing on Substack, you can find the ‘classics’ here.
Feel free to browse through or search below if you’re looking for something specific.
The Secret Lie of Shame
A few years ago, I cut the cord. (This means I don’t have cable - or satellite TV.) I don’t miss it really unless an awards show or major sporting event happens. Then I’m forced to go elsewhere to watch said event. Since I’m a total homebody, ‘going elsewhere’ usually looks like reading about what happened online the next day because of course; there is no TV news.
Celebrating You!
To the bold and beautiful women in my life,You are beautifully and wonderfully made – never let the world or anyone in it make you feel small. Stand in your own light, knowing that you are enough just as you are. Your stories are beautiful, and while they help make you ‘you’, remember they don’t have to define you. Today and every day stand in your fullness and keep going – keep doing what you do. Never forget, you were created for greatness. Here's to you on International Women’s Day!
The Importance of Feeling…
Life. It is filled with highs and lows, the inevitable peaks and valleys. It is full of jobs and kids, and happiness, and joy, and sorrow. People are mean to you, people are nice to you – things work out and sometimes they don’t. We struggle, we work, we find success and we fail. In the big things – in the little things.My life is no different. I live a very full and exciting existance in general, but the last 12 - 18 months have been especially demanding. Recently, I made a list of all ‘major’ events that have taken place for me in this past season…
Before I Die…
It was a dreary day in Asheville, NC when I stumbled across this gem in the middle of downtown. The wall was cleverly concealing a construction area inviting passersby to reflect and write their stories of things they want to do before exiting this earth.The responses ranged from the basics: travel, see Clemson win a National Championship, etc., to the more personal, ‘marry Tina ‘and ‘tell Lisa I love her.’ Some poor guy expressed direct interest in copulating with as many females as possible. There is one in every crowd I guess…I hope that guy finds what he’s looking for.
What I Have Learned About Love
Love - the simplest mystery of our existence. The Beatles say it’s all you need; England Dan and John Ford Coley say it’s the answer - God says without it everything else is meaningless.Wars have been fought over it, whole countries and its citizens brought to their knees over love. It is the subject of countless songs and poems – stories and movies. Everyone wants it; Maslow says we all need it.
When Your Greatest Enemy Is You
I can’t move my right arm – which is a problem because as it turns out, having mobility in both arms is very useful. A trip to the doctor confirmed a frozen shoulder they say is a result of an overly ambitious gym routine combined with natural wear and tear on my 44 - year - old body. Or maybe there is no real reason, no one can tell me for sure.
How to be Fearless...
It was an idyllic crisp and clear winter day in Central Florida – perfect for a road trip. was driving my daughter back to school after Christmas break. We were only a few hours in, but six cups of coffee and a gas gauge that was headed toward E meant a pit stop was in order. I pulled off of I 95 onto an exit that lead to a small and swanky beach town where I knew the facilities would be acceptable; the coffee hot.
The Art of Waiting
There is a time for everything. And timing is everything. Some say things happen according to God’s timing. But I’m convinced it is God who is waiting on us.
How I Lost 50 Pounds and Made Changes That Stick
It’s a new year and along with that, come the inevitable resolutions – to do more, to be more. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions and stopped making them a long time ago for two reasons:
How Co-Parenting Makes Me a Better Mom
The three of us were just sitting there staring at each other. An awkward silence filled the small 12x12 room. The therapist’s office – we’d been there a million times, but this time was different. This time was the beginning of the end. We had just decided – I had just told him – Divorce, I didn’t want to do this anymore – couldn’t do it anymore. He agreed, I think. It’s hard to say, we were both a little in shock.
The Choice Between Life and Death
There is only one real rule in my house. ‘Don’t get dead.’ I stole the line from the movie UP, where the dog talks about the squirrel getting dead. (We think the use of poor grammar is hilarious – we are geeks). The idea is, God gave you an amazing brain - you are old enough to know right from wrong. Don’t make choices that are going to bring you physical, emotional, or spiritual death. I want my kids to find their sweet spots in life – to become who they were created to be and I want to teach them to choose life – choose to really live – every single day.
When Your Guy Leaves…
I got the call today - a text actually, which of course is worse. The guy I count on, the one who takes care of things for me, the one who helps me deal with life's challenging issues is leaving. This guy is always there - and never creates problems for me, only solutions. Until today.
The Great Beauty
It was just another ordinary day when I decided to begin living the rest of my life - one day, and a choice that would change me forever. It was a choice to live in authenticity; to live in boldness; to be genuine and get real. Real with myself- and the rest of the world. It was the day I stopped denying the past and refused to continue as a member of the walking dead into my future.
Why Staying Together for the Kids Is Such a Bad Idea…
We had tried – for three years, we tried. And it wasn’t working – nothing was working. It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with us exactly, except that everything was wrong. We were all screwed up. Royally screwed up.And so, after three years of therapy, three years of actively working to fix our relationship, it was time to call our 15 years of matrimony quits. Time to do what needed to be done. Except for one thing, we had to tell the kids. I was terrified – I’m talking shaking, throwing up terrified. The plan was to tell them together, neither of us blaming the other, which I’m told is the best way – but the truth is there can be no best way for something like this. It is like a horrific train wreck any way you slice it. I hope I never experience another night as terrible as the night I told my children their parents were getting a divorce.
Airport Guy and the Everyday Miracle…
I believe in everyday miracles – and the truth that we are all connected. Alive, awake, and aware -I sit in wonder as the adventures of life unfold and God weaves a tapestry in and out of my life.This is one of those stories…
The Moments that Change your Life Forever
Would who she was really be enough? There was no magic to help her this time. This is perhaps the greatest risk any of us will ever take – to be seen as we truly are.”– Cinderella (2015)I’m not one for fairy tales necessarily. But this version of the classic took my breath away. In the latest adaptation of Cinderella, the heroine is the true picture of courage and vulnerability. She loves when no one is loving her – she is not afraid to show herself in what most would consider to be her weakest state.
How to Live Life With No Regrets
I live a wholehearted life– a life of openness and vulnerability. This means I take chances and calculated risks and when there’s a choice between playing it safe and going for it, I go for it. Because here’s the thing – you will hardly ever regret trying but you will always regret never knowing. Here are 5 things that help me experience this amazing journey called life without regretting a single minute…
How to Become an Overcomer
Life is an amazing adventure. Filled with highs and lows, good and bad: there is a Yin and and Yang to all circumstances. I have experienced some real adversity in my life. I've lost jobs, friends, money. People I trusted have betrayed me. Things I hoped would work out didn't. I am not afraid to take chances - sometimes I come out on top. Sometimes I fall on my face, but all the time, I count it as good. Because I am LIVING! That's why. If you are alive, if you are really living, life may not always be pleasant, but it will be real.
Loving Enough to Let Go
I was losing her. Standing there, staring off, I knew. I knew I had nothing more to give - nothing left, my bag of tricks was totally empty. You enter into this thing called motherhood and it's like a piece of you is now living outside of your body. There's a fierceness about it: to love, to protect. It's a fierceness that changes you forever - sometimes for the good. Hopefully, for the good. If you mess with me, I will deal with you, but if you mess with my kids, you very well might end up dead. I am not a violent person by nature, but this is where my instinctual mother's heart goes. Being a mother will absolutely bring you to your knees - over and over again.