I’m worried, I say – I’m concerned because we’ve been on antidepressants for over a year now and she’s still depressed.

“Of course she’s depressed.”We’d found a new therapist, one who is working with new techniques. These techniques have worked with other kids – we are hopeful.“Every day is hard for her – everything she does, everywhere she goes it is too bright or too loud or not loud enough. It takes all she’s got to just get through the day. She has a right to be a little depressed. I would be worried if she was not a little depressed.”

I was losing her. Standing there, staring off, I knew. I knew I had nothing more to give - nothing left, my bag of tricks was totally empty. You enter into this thing called motherhood and it's like a piece of you is now living outside of your body. There's a fierceness about it: to love, to protect. It's a fierceness that changes you forever - sometimes for the good. Hopefully, for the good. If you mess with me, I will deal with you, but if you mess with my kids, you very well might end up dead. I am not a violent person by nature, but this is where my instinctual mother's heart goes. Being a mother will absolutely bring you to your knees - over and over again.