Hey February! We expect you to be good to us, OK?

How’s everyone doing?

I’m still in the final stages of getting my mojo back after all the pneumonia funny business over the holiday. Recovery has taken longer than I wanted, and I’m impatient. But that is the gig, right? When you need to slow down, and you don’t do it on your own, the universe does the job for you.

At least January’s finally over.

This Florida girl needs some vitamin D in the form of sunshine, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I think this is what Sheryl Crow meant when she told us to soak up the sun - but I digress…

In addition to my health stuff and lack of tanned skin, a lot is happening in our country, politics, and the world. Most of it is out of my control.

It’s got me thinking about acceptance, what it is, and how to do it.

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I was first introduced to the concept of acceptance when I began codependency recovery years ago through the words above. If you don’t know, it’s called the Serenity Prayer.

Accept the things I cannot change? How do I do that? Does it mean if I can’t change it, I don’t worry about it?

I discovered, yes, that was precisely what it meant. It kind of means you stop trying to control it through worry.

Still, it sounded crazy.

When we don’t know what to do, we tend to move away from acceptance and toward control as a protective mechanism. Feeling in control creates a sense of safety. Conversely, feeling out of control doesn’t.

You cannot control other people, what they think, or what they do.

And frankly, you don’t really want to. When you try controlling others and things outside of yourself, you give your power away. And in that, you are actually fighting against the thing that’s happening, which keeps you in a weird limbo where there is no real peace because your energy and peace of mind are tied to what someone else will do.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the fight. It feels like you’re taking control, but it’s a false sense of control. Fighting the reality makes you less powerful.

You can only control yourself. Likewise, you can only change yourself.

So, let’s focus on that.

This is where we are.

That is acceptance.

Taking an honest look at where things are and admitting it—even stating it out loud—puts you in a position of power.

It’s a true power move.

This gets sticky because a form of grief usually comes with acceptance.

If something isn’t happening the way you think it should, in a way, there is a loss.

You’ve got to move through that.

This is where we are.

Then, you face what it evokes in you.

The sadness

The hurt

The anger

And whatever other emotions are at play.

These emotions need to be metabolized and dealt with before moving to the next step.

This is your work - this is what’s within your control. Once the feelings have been released, you can step into your power and decide your next move without being tied to the fight.

Then, move to the critical questions:

Can I do anything?

Do I want to do anything?

Is now the time to do anything?

If you’re genuinely in acceptance and not in resistance (the fight), the choice will be entirely yours.

As we move ahead, remember to find joy wherever you can. In the sunrise, the sunset, your pet. Look for it. Look for what you want instead of what you don’t want.