Getting To The Heart Of The Story
Hello from 30,000 feet on my way back to NYC.
I’ve been traveling for the last two weeks. Being on the go seems to have become more a way of life than just an occasional thing.
I turned 54 while away, which is trippy because I don’t feel 54. In some ways, I still feel 25. Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder, how do I have all of these grown kids? The child-rearing years are blurry for me right now.
We have two (TWO!) kids getting married next year. What is even happening?
Part of this trip was spent in Boone, NC, learning from the master,
Cheryl Strayed. My God, she’s good. If I ever become half the writer she is, I will consider it a job well done.
Free writing tip from the conference: There’s the truth, then there’s the truth underneath that truth. Find that more profound truth, and you will find the heart of the story.
I went to school in Boone back in the day, and anytime I find myself there, it becomes a bit of a full-circle moment. I love returning to a place when it feels different because I am the thing that has changed.
The rest of my time away was spent handling some family business and doing a little (very little) R&R.
Visiting my alma mater and distant relatives got me thinking about how we interact with those around us—why we do what we do, why we feel how we feel, and how our environment impacts these things.
We are so motivated by our pain.
Or, rather, avoiding what might cause us pain.
Until we heal those past wounds, they will keep resurfacing until we face them.
Family, friends, and partners are great mirrors into what still needs healing. To get that healing, you not only have to get into the truth of how you feel and what you need but also the truth that lies beneath that truth. (It turns out the writing process mimics life—shocker)
These deeper truths often ask questions like this:
Am I worthy of being loved and accepted? Can something I do, say, or think alter that?
Can I be fully me and still be connected to my people?
The answer is sometimes yes, but often it’s no—or it feels like no anyway. All the yeses and nos along the way shape your perspective on almost everything. They create the stories we tell ourselves, which in turn create our world.
When I began my healing journey all those years ago, I became aware of the ideas, beliefs, and perspectives that were keeping me from my highest self and the connection I desired with others.
I began asking:
How do I feel?
What do I need?
Who do I want to be in this moment?
Anytime I went through this process, I unearthed more of my truest self. I began calling this process creative destruction.
I put together a short creative destruction workbook to help you unearth these things for yourself. It’s FREE and available here. I hope you download it. Please share it with a friend who might find it useful.
It should help you get to the truth underneath the truth - the heart of your story.
Have you heard??
How to Blow Up Your Life is now a podcast. You can find it here on Substack, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Be sure to listen to the first episode.